You probably know me best as the world's leading Wellness Guru, but I'm also well known as Personal Relaxation Trainer to top celebrities such as Katie Price and Dominic Cummings.

As if I haven't got enough on my plate already (!), I'm also the best-selling author of Just Relax (2018), I Said, Just Relax (2019), Relax Till You're Blue in the Face (2020) and You Too Can Be The World's No.1 Relaxer If Only You'd Try A Whole Lot Harder, or YTCBTWN1RIOYTAWLH for short.

I also present the popular Sunday morning Daftar Situs Judi Slot Online Terpercaya Stress Less With Ann on GBTV.

I love to see top TV frontmen Andrew Neil and Nigel Farage slipping into their leotards and ‘loosening up', ready for me to guide them through some useful Mental Health exercises.

‘Imagine you're lying on a sun-soaked sandy beach, Nigel. Can you do that for me?' I say. ‘Lovely!
Now tell me, what can you see and hear?'

Nigel tells me he can see and hear at least two dozen refugees from heaven-knows-where crammed into a little boat speeding towards him at a rate of knots, dead set on becoming a drain on the British economy.

‘Lovely, Nigel,' I say.

‘Perhaps I was hoping for a bit more sea and sand, but that gives us something to work on.'

So back to me! I've recently been offering top-secret advice to one of the world's most famous couples. Sorry guys, my lips are sealed!
I'm not going to name them, not when royalty's involved!

Just to say that when I flew out to their magnificent mansion in Santa Barbara, just down the road from Oprah, they offered me a ‘right royal' welcome, presenting me with some freshly laid eggs from their hen house and telling me all about their forthcoming Netflix series, How to Care: You Don't Have to Be Royal to Be Rich.

The mystery couple said how excited they were by all their new projects.

For some time now, he —let's call him Prince H — has been hard at work on a memoir. ‘I'm writing this not as the man I was born but as the baby I have become,' he told me. ‘No, that can't be right, can it? I'm writing this not as the Prince I was born but as the Duke I have become.
Yes, that's it!

‘I've worn many hats over the years, mainly one at a time, though I used to play a totally brill game with my mates in the Army where you downed a shot for every hat you balanced on your bonce and the first one to let them fall was a total cissy, not that that's a term I'd ever use.'

At this point, his personal lifestyle guru looked concerned, and whispered something in his ear.

‘Sorry, guys! That came out all wrong! I meant to say I've worn many hats over the years, both literally and fig-leaf-fully, and my hope is that in telling my story I'll make enough money never to have to tell it again.

‘Oh, shoot, no, I mean, my hope is that in telling my story — the highs and lows, the mistakes, all by others, the lessons learned, and the lessons it's high time they learnt — I can help show that no matter where we come from, whether it's a castle or a palace, we have more in common than we would have if we didn't have anything in common, like, if we were common, which I'm definitely not.

Or, to put it another way: I may be a Prince but deep down I'm just the same as the man who comes to clean my pool, except I swim in it and he cleans it.

And I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity to share this insight for $20 million.'

I can't tell you how moved I was that he was sharing these precious insights with me. And you know what? I wanted to give something back. So I brought out a very precious scented candle, which had undertones of vanilla, cedarwood, salt and vinegar, patchouli, palo santo, shiso leaf, vetiver and smoky bacon.

Then I clasped their hands lovingly in mine and intoned this beautiful prayer.

‘Believe in yourself, follow your dreams and — you know what? — no-one will ever be as truly royal as you are...'

I took a deep, meaningful breath. ‘ ...other than Her Majesty and the five ahead of you in the line of succession,' I added, warmly.