What exactly is oral sex?

Oral sex has many names, like "going down," "rimming," and "blow jobs." Oral sex is when you use your mouth or tongue to lick, suckle, or massage your partner's genitalia or anus with your mouth or tongue.


Oral sex is fun for a lot of people, but everyone is different and not everyone likes it or chooses to do it. Oral sex can be given or received in different ways. You might decide not to do oral sex at all, or you might want to try it out with your partner to see what you both like.

Talking to your partner about oral sex is important so you can find out what they like and don't like. Since everyone is different, it can take some time to figure out what makes a person happy. The best thing to do is to talk to your partner as much as possible. Ask them what feels good, and let them know when something is making you happy.

Oral sex can be a great way to get closer to someone and find out what turns them on if you're both happy and at ease with them. If you don't like something, you can stop doing it whenever you want, and the same goes for your partner.

How do you do oral sex with a man?
A blow job is another name for this. You can start oral sex without his penis being up, but you can use your hand to get him excited first. During oral sex, if you hold the penis, you can control how far it goes into your mouth. You can move your hand to let the penis go as far into your mouth as you feel fine with.

A penis is very sensitive, so start slowly and gradually speed up. You can try moving your tongue, mouth, and head in different ways to see what works best, but never use your teeth unless they ask you to.

When you give a guy (or anyone with a penis) oral sex, you can stop at any time, and it's up to you if you want to let him ejaculate (or "cum") in your mouth. If he's wearing a condom, this won't be a problem, and you'll both be safe from STDs.

How do you do oral sex with a woman?
Before oral sex, if you kiss and touch her upper legs and the area around her vulva (genitals), a woman (or anyone with a vulva) may find it exciting.

The whole genital area is sensitive, but for most women, the most sensitive part is the clitoris, which has 8,000 nerve ends. Gently pull apart the outer lips of the vagina and look for the vaginal hole and the hooded clitoris just above it.

Start slowly with a soft tongue and slow movements. As you get better, use a harder tongue and faster movements. You can try moving your tongue in different ways and using different beats. Ask your partner what she likes best.

How does oral-anal sex work?
Oral sex on your partner's anus, or "rimming," can be part of a gay, bisexual, or straight sexual relationship.

If you care about cleanliness, ask your partner to wash up first. As a form of pre-play, you could also take a bath together.

To get your partner excited for oral-anal sex, you could gently kiss and touch the area around the anus and the perineum (the skin between the genitalia and the anus). Then you can concentrate on the anus, moving your tongue around the outside of it and then putting it in. Listen to your partner and do what they like, whether it's licking, sucking, or gently pressing.

When giving a woman oral sex, don't move from her anus to her vagina. This can spread germs and cause an infection.

Can oral sex give me HIV or other STIs?
Oral sex isn't likely to spread HIV unless the person getting it has a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or sores in their genital area or the person giving it has sores in their mouth or swollen gums. If the person with HIV is taking medicine and their HIV numbers can't be found, they can't pass the virus on.

Other STDs, like herpes and syphilis, are easy to pass on through oral sex, though. Some diseases and viruses that are found in feces, like hepatitis A and E. coli, can be spread through oral-anal sex.

How can I avoid getting an illness when I have oral sex?
Use a condom if you are having oral sex with a man or a dental dam if you are having oral sex with a woman or oral-anal sex. This is the best way to avoid STIs.

A tooth dam is a thin, soft piece of plastic that keeps things from getting in the way. If you don't have one, you can cut a condom from bottom to top to make one long piece of material that can be used instead. Hold one side of the dam against your partner's genitalia or anus and lick the other. Don't flip the dam, just use one side.

Using a dam is even more important if you or your partner are having oral sex during a period since menstrual blood can carry bacteria and viruses just like any other blood.

Other steps to avoid getting sick:

Don't brush your teeth straight before oral sex because it could make your mouth or gums bleed.

Don't put sperm in your mouth.

If you or your partner has sores around your mouth, genitals, or anus, gums that hurt or bleed, or an infection in your throat or mouth, you should not have oral sex. There is a high chance of getting an STD from these. Be aware that you may not know if you or your partner has an STD because infections can be passed on even if there are no clear signs or symptoms. If you have sores around your mouth, genitalia, or anus, you should see a doctor because they could be a sign of an illness.

Should I have mouth-to-mouth?
Oral sex is something that each person has to decide for themselves. If you are ready to try oral sex, only you and your partner will know. Think about if it feels right and if you both feel good about the choice.

Before you start having oral sex, it will help to talk to your partner about safety. Taking care of your safety and the security of your partner is an essential part of having sex, even if it feels awkward. If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about, you might not be ready for oral sex yet.

You shouldn't give or get oral sex because you feel like you have to.

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